There is no sign that reads, “we must endure the weight of all things negative in our lives, every single day of our lives.” Well, at least I don’t see those words written across my bedroom wall when I awake in the morning. But I’m starting to believe others see it and have accepted it, entirely. Sadly, the stories I hear about pain that never seem to go away or high stress levels that remain are all quite common. After having gone through a few negative situations myself, it is very easy for me to say that bad things don’t have to stay that way.
This past year, I found myself fighting to break away from the residue of a romantic relationship that ended months before. I began to let this person enter my life at random times and even though overtime, there seemed to be no bad intentions on his end, drama did resurface via the people around him or myself. I began to see that a life where both he and I remained in contact just wasn’t for me-at least not at the moment. It had been a long eight years of us being involved with one another, but even then, I had to question whether any relationship with him was really worth it. I was drained, annoyed, my emotions kept me confused, and I didn’t want to feel this way anymore. I had to step away. I had to block all contact from him and tell myself that I had too much potential to reach out to someone who always came with a bad ending. I finally stuck to the plan.
I also had a job where I worked very hard. I would normally hold onto a job with the intent to move up or learn additional skills outside of what my position required. However, in less than a few months, things started to change. The environment became almost chaotic really quickly. There was constant arguing between top management and associates, gossip, inconsiderate people who would do things and place blame on others-just nasty and not fun to be around. The consistency, in which these things occurred, was what made it bad in comparison to all the other jobs I had held in the past twelve years. Because I was around it so much, I was beginning to soak up that negative energy from that job. Then I remembered I had a choice. I could either find a replacement job or just stick with my first job where I was always around good energy. I decided to leave. Letting go of the extra money didn’t bother me because I knew that my decision would lead me to a more sane mind.
Two huge parts of my life down and I continue to weed out the wrong things. The wrong things will halt our growth and cause us to walk around believing that better does not exist. That right there is the detrimental way of thinking.
Letting go of anything that is feeding us emotionally, financially, physically can be difficult. However, paying attention to the way we feel with and without it is important because then we can start to see if we’re actually better off with or without it. Toxicity is common, but it does not have to be the norm for you. Paying attention to ourselves and our well-being makes it easier to move forward, all the while feeling lighter.
Written by Essence Mason