In one of my past relationships, I had fallen completely in love and he had obviously fallen deeply as well. Our chemistry was undeniable, conversations were endless, we were open and honest with one another- everything just felt perfect. And then years passed. When years pass, people get comfortable, things begin to feel the same, and it slips our minds that work has to be put in on a constant basis in order for a relationship to work.
I still loved everything about him, but I didn’t want our relationship to begin to feel like a routine. I feared getting bored with him and even worse, falling out of love with him in the future. I decided that instead of keeping those feelings to myself, I would speak to him about it. I told him that I felt like my feelings could possibly change and that I needed him to make me happy. It was up to him to figure things out because I had no idea why things had began to feel different.
When you’re with someone for a long time, you know what makes them smile. You know how to get to them in a way no one else does. You’ve also created memories over the years-many being special highlights in your relationship. Simple gestures, surprise outings, and even a visit to a few of the places where some of those memories were created are all possible solutions to getting the spark back. Trusting that you and your partner know each other well is important and immediacy is crucial. Your spark may very well begin to hide out a bit in a long-term relationship, but it won’t go away completely if you act as soon as you feel things changing. Determination is everything and getting back to the root of the love that once brought butterflies is the only method I recommend.
Written by Essence Mason